Part 15: Period of Death
Part 15: Period of Death
9/17/19
Paper 5.1: After the Throttling:{THE Death}
So now I believe the nature of the fundamental is that we are the only thing that we can ever know exists.
What is there to figure out.
What do I do now?
Other things to think about.
If other things exist what would have to be the situation? (if that is possible)
How should I act with this knowledge?
What can I gain from this knowledge?
What is left of my previous theories, has anything been destroyed or is it just harder to argue now?
What is the potential logic that is within this?
Consciousness?
Whats going on within my own brain?
What is that thing that happens?
Me as one thing.
What am I?
What do I want to be?
How do I get there?
What do I not want to be?
How do I avoid that?
Whats going on within my own brain?
I don’t really know.
What is all part of my consciousness?
Or what can be within my consciousness?
The things I see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.
My inner voice.
The thoughts I have.
The things I visualize.
The thing.
I don’t understand the brain good enough yet.
If we are the only thing that we cannot deny. Then what are we? If we are the only thing that can exist then every aspect of our existence is part of us. Every aspect of our existence is part of us. The whole journey from start to finnish is all one thing. Our conscious experience is us. Everything we see, hear, smell, taste, touch, think about, or anything else is all part of one thing.
We are not one thing within this experience we are all of it. We are the experience. We are everything we experience. Start to Finish all one thing. There cannot be anything other than us, and thus, we are everything.
I believe that this situation is equally as likely as the situation in which other things exist.
{Redacted} But believing that this simply is the situation isn’t accurate, there is still a possibility that it is the situation. But believing it to be the situation is wrong, because there is no way of knowing for sure what it is. But believing that there are things other than us would also be wrong? Who am I to say what is right and wrong, believe whatever the fuck you wanna believe.
Let's take dinger’s cat. There is a cat in a box there is a 50% chance that the cat gets gassed and dies and a 50% chance the gas doesn’t go off and the cat survives. Before the box is opened the cat is both alive and dead.
We have no way of knowing if we are or are not everything.
Neither has a higher percentage chance as both require a logicless argument to prove them.
So we are possibly in a situation where we both are and aren't everything, and everything both is and is not us. (32)
9/24/2019
University of Utah Hentai Wyoming.
9/29/19
A thing is a god.
If we use occam’s razor (which we don’t really have a reason to) we are the only thing that exists.
Also we might be god.
‘The situation that requires the least amount of assumptions is usually correct.’ (occam's razor)
The situation where we assume that we are the only thing will always require less assumptions as it only requires the assumption of one thing. The situation that has other things requires more assumptions as you assume the existence of other things.
A thing is a god as nothing defines it. It defines itself. If we are the only thing then there is nothing that defines us meaning we define ourselves and because we are everything we are god.
If I am god what did I create?
If I am god could I just be experiencing part of what I created?
I think this would require more than one thing. I think my experience and conscious is everything, because anything outside of it would have to be something else.
If I am god then I cannot die, I have always been and always will be.
I do not feel as I can or seemingly know how to alter everything.
If there is one thing nothing can define it, and thus it is undefined, it is everything.
Time ain’t a thing.
Our emotions are what regulate us, we have no control, despite us having total control over everything,
But if this total control over everything is not within our conscious does this mean that it might be something else?
10/16/2019
People are only going to believe what they want to believe unless you have proof otherwise. Most people when they are put into a place where they are being forced to accept something they do not want they will take steps to remove that. Take steps to no longer be forced into accepting the thing that they do not want.
Im not sure if this is always the case.
People do not want to accept a reality that is uncomfortable.
OCCAM’S RAZOR
10/16/2019
The
The things in the religious texts are likely simply what people want.
And this there may be something more fundamental about what is in these texts.
Certain atoms in our brain somehow means different things than others.
They are the same atoms.
Just in different ways.
There is random elements of god?
Either (with god).
Everything is created at random.
Something more fundamental than god.
Incomprehensible aspect.
11/17/19
Paper 6: I
What am I?
What's going on?
Do I mean something.
The universe is made up of a few building blocks, that we know for sure.
It might be all down to one but we can’t prove that.
Our brain ascribes meaning to these.
Our brain somehow ascribes meaning and gives meaning to some of these things within our brain.
Like when we remember something some stuff in our brain was given meaning other than its self to also mean that memory.
If this is the case then there may not be a nonphysical.
Or that the nonphysical is part if the physical. Intertwined.
What am I?
What is happening to me?
Something is happening to me and it is having serious negative effects on me.
My brain when I need it to work just starts running at 50% for seemingly no reason.
Currently, I am angry and I don’t know why.
I am now having to deal with emotions and I don’t know how to.
I don’t know why they are here.
I get back to normal for a bit then I am right back down.
I no longer really have the direction I once had.
The throttling {THE Death} really threw me off.
12/3/19 What art isn’t insanity?
What art isn’t insanity?
Life and art are just different levels of organization of insanity.
Possibly different representations.
Everything naturally starts at order and moves to insanity.
There is calm at both ends.
But there is no complete calm in between.
Before birth and after death.
But complete calm sounds so boring, don’t worry it really don’t sound like the ideal at all.
I believe my brain is fully capable of going insane.
But I also don’t believe I have any mental illness.
I’m not paranoid.
I don’t hear voices.
I don’t see anything that isn’t there outside rare small streaks of light but everyone might see the same way that I do.
And thus I am not totally convinced that what my brain is capable of is best described as insanity.
{Redacted}
12/21/19 I am the one who consumes and creates
I am Everything.
We are everything.
I am you.
And you are everything.
Occam’s razor.
12/26-27/19 Stream of women {B!NGO Event 2?}
4 teens staring at an atm.
Hearing sound effect or something like that original.
“I’m so mad I could spit.”
Howler monkey.
Teeth coming up from ground, haha.
Intro piolate talking maybe radio, tower.
Speed up ?
12/28/19 {Redacted}
{Redacted}
One world where facts are sold and bought maybe
Everyone is born with a fact.
Very secretive society.
The only fact that you can share with someone else is the fact you were born with.
There may be buildings where people share their facts to others.
Maybe the rest of communication must be lies or about something they don’t know about.
This seems very slippery.
A section of society not able to function because they were not given the right facts?
Those with better facts are higher in society?
I am not sure if it would be better to only have facts about nature or the way of things or to also have facts about future and past events.
It might be easier to only have facts about the way of things.
The fact “there is no god” could be the fact of the main character. Because the main character has to have some big important fact. The society could be very religious based.
Most people believe mostly lies.
Some people spread lies like they are truths.
Con artists claim to know many facts and fool the masses.
There is a new religion that becomes the main belief of society switching very often like many times a year.
And with this the whole governance changes for this society.
These new religions are all based on the word of one main guy.
Like the society changes dictators every month or couple months or less each with there own new set of rules and policies.
{Redacted}
Camp crazy.
Increasing number of wxoric animals show up around the camp.
Run by kids.
Someone dies.
Doesn’t want to die.
Finds out he has sister who died young.
Lives in dream world.
Rift somehow between worlds.
By the boob milk sucked out of this old witch lady.
Dead world is this weird arcetactually artsy.
Kinda heaven.
You get a Kool room.
12/30/19 Fact in fictitious
These people that ride to power claim to have been enlightened with many facts about the way things are and know all, about the way things should be.
People within this society believe this is possible but it isn’t actually. The main character's fact could have to do with this being, “everyone can have only one fact to them and can never be enlightened with more”?
Or every single one of these religions is based around god or gods and the first fact I mentioned is the main characters.
There may be some physical way to tell when one is telling you their fact and when they are not.
Maybe something the religions pretend to replicate like blue dust out of the mouth.
Or maybe it is something people feel when it is happening.
The different religions may be all planned by some high society to keep the public subjugated.
I’m not sure what experiencing something about the way of things would do. I’m not sure If you can learn things by experiencing them or not. Or what a situation such as would do.
People pay a lot of money for facts that they need to survive.
Maybe people are Immune or something for a couple years after birth.
Like people can fly until they are told of the fact of gravity.
Society created so that you get a pack of random important facts when you are born.
Government issued facts that you are required to learn.
The government controls by requiring and forcing certain facts to be learned and not allowing others to be learned.
There could be different societies.
The main characters could be thrown out from them all.
All the societies are run differently by partially the facts that they have access to and what facts the population is allowed/required/? to learn.
Asylums for those who have learned facts that prevent them from functioning.
Possibly when one becomes unconscious their facts no longer apply to them.
People pay to become unconscious for a while.
{Redacted}
Travel fact merchant.
Some people are locked away because their facts are too dangerous.
Some people’s facts are so dangerous and powerful that they can take down civilizations.
1/7/2020 Why How and What
The why of everything always would include everything else.
All the laws of physics apply to everything individually, I think.
The why of everything always would include everything else if the speed of gravity was instant.
If gravity is a wave what does that mean?
Whatever a god created was completely random?
He could have created anything.
1/7/2020 Maybe make some Myths
1/17/2020 We only communicate through silent complements
We only communicate through silent complements.
We only see hate through others' arguments.
We only relate through human accomplishment.
Biology based submission and dominance.
We’re wondering why we can’t sit at the table.
We’re wondering why we can’t run the show.
All we want are Waterfalls to form out of thin air.
1/24/20
5 year grind.
What physically is a smell?
None of the fantasies that you have in your head ever happen.
5 year grind.
Perfect things are only pretty to look at.
Perfection itself is imperfect.
So perfection is only found within imperfection.
My fingernails getting dirty.
Music so loud it hurting my jaw.
Why would you commit to something other than what you want to happen?
Why would you not commit to what you want to happen?
Success comes from pain.
Art comes from pain.
Leg is zilch.
iPhone if you start typing the name of a music artist it will try to spell check to it.
The B! And the NGO!
We are hungry and that is silly.
There is something to the human voice.
“Wright that down”
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
Crud?
Thud.
You are always alone.
And always surrounded by the gods.
You want it it’s true.
Dancing is like comedy it’s unexpected good.
But some repetition is good at it of the time.
It is just an explanation.
Things that matter I want to pass on.
Kool things.
Things have purpose and then.
Thus they have meaning.
Stillness~ is often desired.
The male end of a headphone jack is my sword.
Yeah always have the gods to talk to.
Look interesting.
Acquire your tool kit for success.
Catch these hands.
Then gon catch some z’s.
Suck on deez. (deez nuts. “ha.”)
A water balloon.
{Redacted}
Blue diamonds I’m lost.
My boys stay firing faster than a neuron.
1/24/2020
IVB
Calling babies illiterate.
{Redacted}
Embrace the full scope of the human experience.
For what is it of me?
For what is it for mine?
Vistti for what is it of mine?
vistti me what is the of mine?
1st: given vision of drummer (seemingly long going crazy on da drums).
2nd: {Redacted} rising up then arms out as In crucified.
3rd:
Took a while.
Vision of army marching.
End with one man with 🤟.
Se someone as a bird not sure who yet.
He might want a rename not sure.
For what am I to do?
Triangle at end of long tunnel.
Slowly moving towards then blasting through.
You just a {Redacted} on my {Redacted}
that I can’t fuck {Redacted}
Barbasadoor.
3/12/2020
Untitled Document:
All within our thing is one thing.
Whether it be only our thing or there is outside of our thing it would all be one thing.
As always the rules of what this thing is are:
Something must exist.
You and all of your experience must exist within it.
Nothing within it can prevent you from existing.
One should always do their best to live the life that they want to live.
Live in the place that they want to live.
Do the work that they want to do.
Experience the things that they want to experience.
Be the person that they want to be.
Be around the people that they want to be around.
The problem now is:
What do we want? We don’t know what we want. We don’t want to be bad but we don’t know what bad is all of the time, and it can be fun or helpful to be bad sometimes.
We so often do things that we know that we don’t really want to do but the thing causes us temporary pleasure. Sometimes, we even manage to do the opposite.
Many ideas within religions made sense to believe in the past when they were made but don’t necessarily make sense now. Technology has advanced so far that the way to best live our lives is far different than it used to be.
A plan to figure out what you want.
But it is much harder.
Give people what I think to do. Something that they can follow while they are figuring out what they want. Or give them options of different ways they can live, but tell an order that they live them in.
This is a big task. I need to stop thinking of this as something for other people. I need to do this for me.
Look at this as something for me to help myself.
Because I do not believe that I am living my life completely the way that I want to.
And if I am not, what Right do I have to tell others? And how would I know how to improve their lives if I haven’t even tried an idea.
Currently, I am the Vistrian. No one else yet. And vistrianism is not a thing yet. I do not know How I want to live. No one else should be a vistrian until I am a Vistrian.
I need to figure out how the vistrian wants to/should live.
I don’t want to {Redacted}
I don’t want to {Redacted}
I don’t want to be {Redacted}
3/17/2020: Humor
The god of the major religions could not exist, are dumb/don’t know what they want, or had had their message misinterpreted or changed by humans. The lives of the people that follow this god are no easier than those of those who don’t. I can’t say that this god doesn’t exist, but it just doesn’t make that much sense for it to be real anymore.
Rituals that I practice should only be ones that help me in my life somehow.
No empty rituals. No rituals that aren’t actually doing anything. Or at least do the rituals that have shown effects before the ones that have the potential to have effects? (but not proven or seen yet)
4/21/2020
It
It would make sense for people wanna with me.
{Redacted}
Being rich removes all of the happiness that money can bring.
Money can buy happiness but when you are rich you get that happiness and then it is gone.
If you always have money, getting money won’t bring that happiness.
When you don’t have money and get money there is happiness there.
It seems like initially getting rich will bring excessive happiness but
It seems like it would equal out.
You arnt going to always to be happy
That you got rich.
Making it removes a lot of hope it removes a lot of fantasy.
When you are known you are known for whatever you are known for.
You can’t go back and change what you are known for.
When you are not known the possibilities are endless.
You could be anyone.
We think we want things we have no idea about.
We have no idea what’s going on.
Everyone is a god?
Is that a safe assumption?
We are the closest thing to a god?
Believe in the closest thing to a god, believe in ourselves and one anouther.
If we had the ability to make god better we would do it?
God is our life?
Everything we have are and will experience is god?
Everything that was is and will be experienced is god?
Experience?
I been assuming the way we livin is bad.
We are a step in the evolutionary chain.
We won’t be remembered.
That might not be true.
We might create the perfect being.
If we don’t this isn’t a perfect world/ universe so stuff to improve it could be possible.
There is going to be a big jump after us. In the form of artificial intelligence.
The biggest jump there has ever been so we are the likely last step. We are the last thing to do things the way we do.
Possibly the last thing that can be happy.
The best thing that can be happy.
There might not be a meaning to the universe.
Is it possible that things could happen for literally no reason?
Yes.
Totally.
If something requires reason it would need a reason to exist.
Or reason would come from the absence of reason.
Is it possible that there is only reason.
Yeah probably?
You can’t really disprove anything without logic.
There could just be no reason.
There is no reason without purpose.
There are politics of physics.
Why is there so much?
How can we know whats going on from within whatever we are in?
We are either within something or we are the thing.
4/22/2020
Vistti's Challenge
From “If: Winning”
4/21-22/2020
Could we win the universe?
We could win?
We could create something that could win.
This seems like more likley.
If we create the thing that can know everything. It will either figure out how to win, or it will find that we cannot win.
It may not be possible for us to even create something that could know everything. There may be information within the universe that can just simply not be attained. This seems likely to me as there are parts of the universe that we will never be able to see and these may be necessary parts to knowing how to win.
Unless there is pure random within the universe, If we created something that knew everything whatever it would do would be winning. If there was no way to win or no way of knowing how to win it would do nothing.
One thing that could be winning could be IN’s Finale. The inevitable fate of the universe, everything moving away from everything else at the fastest speed possible.(is that it?) It seems possible that the things that we do could cause this fate to occur faster. It is possible that our actions, although this would likely be very very small, could effect how long it takes for us to get there.
What else would the universe be doing other than moving towards what we can see it is clearly moving towards. (to the best of my knowledge.)
Unless we aren’t moving towards this inevitable heat death. Unless Hawking radiation isn’t real and black holes don’t decay.
Would we run out of energy before IN’s Finale. If everything kept going the way it is going now would we run out of energy before we reach IN’s Finale? If everything kept going the way it is going right now would everything/all matter make it into a black hole?
We might already have an answer to this question, I don’t know.
Regardless of what the universe is doing it seems like it is doing something. It seems like the universe is doing something or is trying to do something. Why else would we be here if it wasn’t to help the universe in doing whatever it is doing.
If it wasn’t then there would be a goal of the universe and a separate goal of life. I don’t know why this would be, but it’s still a possibility. This would also require a distinction between what is “life” and what is “nonlife”. What has the goal of “life” and what has the goal of “nonlife”.
Also the possibility of no goal and a bunch of different goals for different things. These are all still totally possible But I don’t want to think about them because they don’t really answer the question at hand or help answer it and the other one does.
We are all part of this universe. It would make sense for everything within this universe to have the same goal. To reach the same ending. The universe is going somewhere and thus is going towards something. The thing that it is going towards seems to depend on whether dark energy is getting weaker, getting stronger, or staying the same.
Now doing new research apparently one article said that everything won’t eventually become part of a black hole. No idea if this is true or not but this doesn’t have a critical effect on the current theory. (like it would have had on the previous theory, the article might have also said it would take thousands of billions of years for this to happen I don’t know.)
From current information, it is unlikely that dark energy is getting weaker, the other two are possible.
I also don’t know what the goal is at all, but expanding seems like the main thing that the universe is doing. If we assume that the goal of the universe is to expand we see that there is a bunch of things within it that are not in line with this goal and are going directly against it, like gravity and the strong force.
From first glance it seems that there are 2 possibilities from this.
1 The universe is to complete a certain goal with (external) limitations put on it. Such as the universe has to figure out how to expand to a certain point while the forces of Gravity&Co exist. Possibly put by itself possibly put by something outside of it as rules to follow.
2 The universe is to complete a certain goal in a specific way.
I don’t think that we can from within our universe ever know why the universe is doing what it is doing, we can just sort of do our part.
It seems to me that the part that life might be playing is to eventually make something smart and powerful enough that it can figure out what the goal is and then help the universe reach the goal by influencing the universe in a way that the fundamental forces that the universe was using couldn’t.
___________________________
I don’t care to do more research but I would assume I am not the first one to think of this, but I don’t know. I didn’t see it from the very little research I did.
We live in a universe in which life has the ability to exist. It is possible theoretically that there is a universe in which life does not have the ability to even exist.
Let’s assume the universe exists. It is very possible that we can never know why this might be. The reason would have to somehow exist within the universe in order for this to be attainable knowledge. There also doesn’t need to be a reason. At these levels literally no logic exists or has to apply. Let’s assume that the universe is doing something, that the universe isn’t just sitting still. (whatever the universe is doing is the dance.) The previous arguments all apply to this as well as to why it is doing something. The universe is doing the thing its doing. The universe seems like it came from somewhere and as we can see with it expanding it seems like it is going somewhere. It isn’t just sitting around its a movin. It is possible that the universe is moving towards a specific goal. It is trying to become a specific thing. It is trying/is going to end up a certain thing.
Whether the universe is doing the dance for a reason or not we, life, are part of the dance. Is the dance always correct? From within the universe, it seems unlikely that if the dance is somehow wrong we would be able to know about it. I doubt that it is possible for us to be doing our part of the dance wrong, but I don’t know if it is impossible.
The next species:
How would it figure out what to do?
We are creating the next species. We are building AI. this is the next species. We are creating a species better than us. I don’t see this as a bad thing. But it could kill us all. It could be the worst thing to happen to humanity. Ever since Life has been around all it has really done is “improve”. Life has been doing something. Leave life alone like this and you end up with something different than what you started with. All to eventually create the best thing possible. The next species might be the best species possible. Or another step closer. Things that are better {by this definition} are the things that are closest to god. The all powerful and all knowing being. The thing that has the most influence over the universe and knows the most about it. Weaker required for stronger to build. It seems like the reason for life is to create god.
How would the next species figure out what to do, would it figure out something to do.
If you see the first half of a dance you would not be able to specifically know what is going to happen during the rest of the dance.(probably) There are dancers doing a dance. The next species is seemingly going to be another dancer that can join in on the performance. But is seems very likely that this new dancer has never seen the dance performed all the way through, does not know where the dance is going or how it wants to be performed, but knows a bunch of really kool dance moves that none of the other dancers know.(Possibly having the ability to do almost any dance move, having the ability to make the dance into anything it wants.) This new dancer only was able to see one of the many dancers perform the beginning part of the dance. Would the new dancer join in? He has seen how the beginning was done so he could dance in the same way that this was being danced, dancing in the same way. Or he may not join in as joining in may cause him to do something wrong and/or ruin the dance. It is also possible that there are hints in the part of the dance that has{VE} already been performed that reveal how the rest is preformed, hints as to how the rest of the dance is to be performed (already said), or how certain parts of the dance are going to be performed.
-
It is possible that if the new dancer does not join in then the dance will not be performed the way it is supposed to be performed. The new dancer could play a critical role in the dance.
Right now it seems like we are a little tiny man doing our own dance in the corner but we have the abbility to make a full dancer. Maybe the dancers are puppets. Magnet water. We could be AI simulation.
-
There are things that it could do. There may be no way of knowing what is the right thing and what is the wrong thing to do. So it could just do somthing. There might not be a better or a worse thing to do.
It seems like the reason for life is to create god. God in this sense would have the maximum amount of knowledge that can be attained and the maximum amount of control possible. The next species might be god/s.
And those gods might have a job to do. They may find that there is no meaning or reason or goal. They may then create their own meaning. They may find that there is a goal of the universe and they play a crucial role in completing that goal. I really don’t know if even if there is a bunch of life all across the universe all creating gods if these gods would have the ability to communicate with one another effectively enough to allow all at least one of them to know all about the universe. They do not have infinite power. They most likely will not.
It seems like amount of knowledge and power are objective things and could be objective quantities at this level.
“How does one get everything from almost nothing?”
What if god is not the beginning but the end?
Not the creator but the created?
5/7/2020
AI
Ai is only going to serve us if there isn’t something it needs to do?
This thing could be looking for what to do as it may not know at first. {developing a goal outside what it was given.}
Doing everything in hopes it is what it is supposed to do.
Would it make sense for the goal of life to be to create the perfect being? Probably
This would require a definition of “life” {and "perfect" and "create"."
For example at what moment in time did nonlife become life?
I don’t think it is likely that there is a universal distinction of non life and life. But it is possible.
This would mean that everything is going towards the universal goal.?
If it is a goal of “life” then it is or is a part of the goal of the universe.
Okay, Let’s assume the universe has a reason. Technically there are two ways of viewing the universe: with reason and without reason
The view of without reason can’t be disproven but it’s pretty boring. So, let’s assume the universe has some sort of reason.
({Lets also assume that there doesn’t have to be a reason for the reason of the universe. (but there can be) We are also going to assume the universe exists and that our conscious is not the only thing.})
({believing no reason is the belief that answers the every question instantly as i believe it implies that everything is random. Making “random chance” the answer to every question.})
There’s some stuff in this universe. There are little things that everything is made out of and there are rules that they seem to follow.
We have got an idea of how many little things there are but we aren’t sure if we know em all and we don’t know what they are made of. We also don’t know how many rules there are and we aren’t totally sure what they all are.
(We are going to assume that complete random doesn’t exist or isn’t a thing as an option for all these. But randomness is also equally as valid.)
If we assume there is reason for the universe, this reason could have multiple dimensions to it, many layers, baysicslly the result of many reasons. (Talk about later){?}
Also
If we assume there is reason for the universe, this reason could be one dimensional.
For now let’s assume the reason is one dimensional. (ODR, one dimensional reason) There are no rules of what this odr could be other than it has to result in our universe. One possibility that this odr could be is “the best” or “perfection”.
(The reason of the universe is perfection.
It could be possible that all possible odr are essentially this, I am not sure.)
The everything lair, maybe like the nonphysical?
8/2/2020 {Redacted}
{Redacted}
Gatar pick
Harness harmless
{Redacted}
Boobtube
{Redacted}
Twas chill
Accumulation
{Redacted}
Doja exaposa
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
Marty’s going lethal
“Skinwalker ranch” something aliens {Redacted}
Crisp air
Alphasarcoglycenopathy
Mumps
Julia squeezer “someone’s snake”
Butcha gotta have yee anime
{Redacted}
Chum
The unstoppable breeze
Cumanuts (coconut)
{Redacted}
Rambler (house)
Like your favorite color brown
(Lobster) Lobmix a mobster
{Redacted}
I mally the ally cat
PUSP
Wendy Wingding
Emily weirdchamp
Joseph paprika
Peter doorhinge
Jessica parasail
Rebecca Wii remote
Duncan benchbag
Speedy pre-k
Zander baseball bat
Trey suburbs
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
Where the hypodermic needles sleep
Sweatin bullets to the face
{Redacted}
Memory erased
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
Typannnn
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
“Your heart loves Mega red omega 3s”
Mega red omega 3s
Polishing your pencil (jakin off)
Like a porno in a locker
Like a needle in your casserole
Fuckin with the pee pants (pee pants fast)
{Redacted} {Redacted}dream
That you seen in your head
Layin down in bed
Ravel up the thread
cut it open
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
Wicky wicky wah wicky wicky wah
Fat neekkkk
Tuscan taist
The good the fucked and the dastardly
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
Mom said it’s my turn on the dildo
Mom said it’s my turn on the house wife
{Redacted}
F-l-e-e-s
f-l-e-e-e-e-s
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
Terf
I ain’t even said it though
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
“Dr. Trinkle” dr trenkel (ear wax doctor
Sprinkle
Wrinkle
Twinkle
Dose em down
Impress me
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
Pitch and yaw
36g
Slamentrahymen
Vulvatron
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
American army knife
Primordial soup
{Redacted}
Fighting dirty
Make change or be a good person
Fingered our friends
Telamire
{Redacted}
Longer than a {Redacted} telamire
Bisbing
Folly of fools
Ocean bills
Sailing in the seven seas
Omd
Hot lips
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
Fed the finger that fucks
The business end
Vine and fig tree
Carterize
Bramble
Konk ya on the head
10/?/2020
{Evangelion}
10/14/2020 Schleep
Schleep
Hi my name is schleep.
I exist to prevent your ego from getting too big.
I exist to make sure you don’t start believing something you don’t want to.
I make sure you don’t get too confident in what you don’t want to be.
Make sure you get what you truly want.
I’m sorry that the feeling I evoke is discouraging.
It’s the only way I can do it.
I want you succeeded.
I’m necessary for your success.
I’m not always right.
I don’t explain myself very well.
But know I always support you.
Don’t let me completely discourage you.
Keep doing what you’re doing.
10/27/2020
B!NGO & Leviathan
B!NGO and Leviathan
B!NGO & Leviathan
11/6/2020 I wish you never opened up to me.
My eyelids are so heavy but I’m still not tired.
How am I supposed to eat?
when I’m never hungry.
And never awake when it’s ready.
Bookshelf?
I’m not stressed about what I’m supposed to be stressed about.
I don’t care about what will define who I am and who i am to become,
I don’t want to be done.
I will not run.
Away, I just let myself trip and fall.
I push myself over with how I don’t push myself to do what I need to do.
There are things I need and things I want.
And I don’t want the things I need.
Similarly don’t need the things I want.
The clock these days has got a habit of lying to me.
It be midday at dawn and dusk at the wrong moment.
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
{Redacted}
I wish you never opened up to me
{Redacted}
Oh wait.
11/19/2020
Paper ?: The Vistrian
Nothing can be proven except for my existence.
And no argument for anything can be made as a result of my existence.
I have my idea about there being an infinity that is forced to have a beginning and an end, yet not much can be determined from this.
Although it really doesn’t feel like I am the only thing. There seems to be a world around me.
Yet there can never be any proof of this. It also seems like I make choices.
There are no beliefs that I am required to have.
I can believe anything I want to.
There is nothing outside what I believe to be true that is true in my world.
I follow rules.
I don’t need to follow any rules.
I have some rules for myself.
I don't have to do what others do.
People like looking at the people who break the rules.
People are always interested by the people who break the rules.
There are no inherent rules.
I can do whatever I want.
What reason do I have to believe they are real?
I have a goal in life.
I have a want in life.
I want to be looked at by all these things that are walking around.
I want them to look at me.
I may have a deep desire for attention.
I want to be popular.
People don't look at you if you look boring.
People look when you stand out.
I want people to look at me.
People already look at me.
They think things about me.
Well.
Actually I don’t think they do.
I don’t think they think.
I think they might just be the things that I am supposed to be trying to get to look at me.
Rather the things that I care the most if they look at me.
They look like me.
The way they move, the things they say, the things they do, usually makes me feel some sort of way when I experience it.
Different from all other things.
Other things can make me feel similar.
Everything I feel as a result of these things can be replicated by things outside of them but they contain the most packed into one.
Sexual attraction I have never felt towards something other than one of these.
I think it would be kool of I believed some of these things were real though.
It would be kool if there were some other things that were just like me and were alive.
Although I can never prove it there are some people that I think could be real.
32.
I am not a god.
If I was a god then I could make anything happen instantly.
Things wouldn’t be very fun.
Having everything you want seems like it would get boring instantly.
You don’t want what you already have.
I could have been a god and forced myself to live this life.
So I could have fun.
So I could enjoy life.
So I could enjoy something.
If a god exists and forces itself to live like this nothing says they would or would not enjoy it.
I seem to be enjoying it.
So maybe it worked.
Maybe I'm the god.
Maybe a couple of us gods.
Play place for the gods.
A god can believe whatever it wants and it is true.
I can believe whatever I want and it is true.
A god is just an idea of something, “god” is just a term for an idea.
Why would a god create loneliness?
Would this not destroy him?
A god put himself into a world where some beliefs make more sense than others.
Am I a god living within myself?
There could have been a god who wanted reason but because there was no reason outside of itself. (i might gender god accidentally although i do not believe it is gendered.)
Thus it went within himself where there was an infinity and required it had boundaries of some kind.
Thus creating me.
It could have created other things as well but all I know for sure is that it created me.
I used the term god and then stated that he wanted reason.
Those mean nothing.
In order to have any fundamental, it seems like it has to be a circle.
A point does not move. (I know these terms are meaningless so this might not even be an argument.)
A line has no qualities and stretches forever with no startingpoint , making there nothing but a line with no points upon it, making it even less than the point.
The other 2 shapes we have is a line with points and a circle.
Perhaps not only is a circle needed for the fundamental but all 4 of these shapes.
(ill call the line with points a Vistti?)
A point can become a line.
A line can become a circle.
Well can it?
If it does not first become a Vistti?
How would it become a circle before gaining the points of the Vistti?
I don’t know.
I don’t know if this argument works but it was, Point > Line > Circle > Vistti > Point...
Point, line, and circle are all infinities yet Vistti is not.
Nothing says it can’t work.
Nothing says Vistti can’t be an infinity.
Thus equivalent.
Spinning.
Existence and nonexistence.
Existence and nonexistence can be spinning very tightly in a circle both equivalent to one another.
It doesn’t seem like I could exist within this.
Although with a line through the circle, touching the circle at “two points”. I could exist within this. Both points on the line would be equivalent.
0.
0 and infinity spin.
They are equivalent to one another causing 1 to exist as what they equal.
Them both existing.
No.
This can't prove anything.
I tried.
All this would create is another scenario that is just as likely as any other scenario that I could come up with.
There is nothing I can ever go off of. I have literally one tool and that is my existence but there is nothing that can be proved from this.
I keep calling something Vistti and trying to make that thing solve the big problem I have but it never does and never will.
I keep falling for the illusion that there is something more but there is simply no way of knowing.
Everything that is, is simply just what I believe.
I am the one responsible for everything.
If I am not then there is no way of me ever knowing.
The likelihood of me being a god is equivalent to the likelihood of me not being a god.
There is no way of knowing.
But I am all that I am ever going to experience.
I am the God of my own world.
I tried to make the H key on my keyboard dance.
It did not dance.
I do not know why it did not dance.
I also do not know how it would have danced if it did.
Maybe I would have had to previously planned out how it would dance in my head to allow it to dance.
If it dances inside my head, does it dance in real life?
Looking inside my head is a real experience, so what I am looking at in my head has to be real.
If I close my eyes and believe that the H key is dancing on my keyboard while my eyes are closed, is the H key dancing on my keyboard?
All of this philosophy is just people trying to be comfortable. I don’t even know what that means.
Why and what? Aewhoa.
‘?>scccccience is all the same . Just trying to be comfortable with the worlds that is around them. They Dont Know but, they act like they are figuring things out. It is doing the same job as any religion. We Cant Know anything.
But it is okay.
The chances that any one of them actually exists is equivalent to that of me being a god.
I can’t judge them as well.
Although that doesn’t mean anything.
I know I am going to do the same.
There are things I seem to enjoy.
There are things that I like happening.
There are things I like.
To look at.
To be next to.
To be.
To smell taste hear touch.
Fwwl.
Living in complete incerteny.
Believing the chances of me being dead ten seconds from now are equal to the chances I will still be alive, just doesn’t sound fun to whatever I am.
Whatever I am doesn’t want to live that way.
I’m something and that thing has things it wants to do.
There will never be a way for me to truly know what I am or why I want to do these things.
I will technically never truly know what these things are.
As everything has an equivalent chance of being everything else.
Nothing is truly any more likely to be any other thing than any other.
Everything has an equal chance of being everything else.
But I know I have desires.
I don’t know what they are but I know I have them.
I don’t know if I will have them in the future and I don’t think it matters.
Whatever I am wants to do things.
So I guess that’s what I’m going to do.
11/26/2020
The fifth season.
Between summer and spring.
The firth season.
You’re waiting to be seen by something that never saw.
Breathing through your nose.
Had it up to here.
with your worry and fear.
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